


It's A Wonderful Life

by Crazygremlin



Series: It's a long road to happiness [2]
Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-24 02:39:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13204017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazygremlin/pseuds/Crazygremlin
Summary: She's pregnant. They are in love. This extra cute story picks up from where my previous story ended and follows Tasha and Reade's journey through pregnancy and the beginning of their relationship and the struggles they face along the way.





	1. It's real

Tasha Zapata woke up to the smell of coffee. The alarm clock on her night stand told her it was 7:00 AM which meant she had slept for nine hours. Nine hours! How can somebody sleep for nine hours and feel like they’ve just run a marathon? She got up to a sitting position and groaned as she felt the already familiar pain in her back.

 

She heard footsteps heading towards the bedroom and saw Edgar Reade, her partner, best friend and now her boyfriend enter the room carrying two cups in his hands, coffee for Tasha and tea for him.

 

“Good morning, beautiful” he said with a captivating smile on his face and leaned in to give her a kiss. “How is Mommy doing today?” he asked and grinned at her irritated face.

 

Tasha hit him with a pillow so that he almost spilled the coffee on her bed. She didn’t like being called that and he knew it; it made it all feel too official. But it was true. She was 9 weeks pregnant and every time she thought about it her insides turned upside down. Though she would never admit it aloud, she was scared as hell. She didn’t know how to be a good mother because she had never had one since her own mother had been the type of parent who valued her liquor over her children.

 

Reade laughed and set the cups on the night stand and leaned down so that he was hovering over the small bump on Tasha’s stomach.

 

“Mommy seems to be a little nervous about today” he said to the bump and placed a kiss on it. Then he looked up at Tasha whose irritated face was gone and she was now discretely wiping away tears.

 

Damn mood swings, she thought and grabbed her cup of coffee. She could see sheer happiness on Reade’s face when he looked at her tiny bump and she was so moved by it she couldn’t hold back tears. She blamed the hormones for that. She was happy she had Reade by her side, she didn’t know what she would do without him. She felt so lucky that she didn’t have to raise her child alone and she knew Reade would be the best father anyone could ask for.

 

Today was gonna be a big day and she truly was nervous. Today they would be going to their first checkup at the maternity clinic and she was worried. What if something was wrong? What if the fetus wasn’t healthy?

 

That wasn’t the only thing she was nervous about, though. They had decided to finally tell the rest of the team about their relationship and about the… fetus. Tasha couldn’t bring herself to use the other word, not yet. Reade wanted to tell the team earlier, partially because he wanted Tasha out of the field, but Tasha wanted to wait. This time, though, she couldn’t come up with a good reason why they shouldn’t tell them yet, especially since their appointment was in the middle of the day which meant they would have to leave the office and there was no point in lying.

 

“Is everything okay?” Reade asked as he watched Tasha, who was sitting quietly, lost in her own thoughts and every once in a while a tear rolled down her cheek.

 

Tasha looked at him and smiled. She didn’t know how to explain everything she was feeling and she figured he wouldn’t understand it anyway because he didn’t know what is was like to carry someone inside him. She simply nodded her head in response. Reade smiled and kissed her forehead.

 

“We should get ready to go” he said and got up leaving Tasha alone in the room again.

 

She finished her coffee, got up, took a quick shower and opened her closet to find something to wear. She took some basic work clothes and started pulling them on. She had finally bought a bigger bra for her swollen breasts and she was happy about it because it made her feel a lot more comfortable. She pulled on her pants and groaned loudly in annoyance when she couldn’t close the button. She threw herself on the bed and struggled with the button for a while until she finally won the battle. The pants weren’t exactly comfortable and she knew she would have to buy some maternity clothes soon, but they would have to do for now.

 

When she got up she saw Reade standing in the doorway, fully dressed, holding back laughter. She threw him a murderous glance but this time she was able to control her anger. She pulled on the shirt she had randomly chosen and realized it was pretty tight and she could see her bump through it. She was about to take it off but Reade stopped her.

 

“Don’t take it off, I like it” he said. “Besides, it doesn’t matter anymore if they see it because we’re gonna tell them anyway, right?”

 

Tasha sighed but didn’t change her shirt.

 

When they were ready, they got in Reade’s car and headed to work. She felt butterflies in her stomach as they approached the FBI New York Office. They had practically lived together for the past three weeks, ever since Tasha had told Reade she was pregnant, but they had never arrived at work together. They had always been careful to come in separately not to raise any suspicions and it felt weird to be able to hold Reade’s hand as they stepped into the elevator.

 

Tasha was no nervous she was afraid she might pass out. Reade squeezed her hand reassuringly as the elevator doors opened and they stepped out. They saw Jane Doe sitting at her desk. She looked up when she heard the elevator doors open and then looked back at the folder she was holding but after realizing what she had just seen she quickly looked back at Tasha and Reade. A wide smile spread across her face as she got up to greet them.

 

“Ha, I knew something was going on!” she said happily and hugged them. Tasha was still wearing her jacket so Jane couldn’t see her exposed bump yet.

 

“Where are Patterson and Weller?” Reade asked.

 

“Weller’s in his office and I think Patterson’s in her lab. Do you want me to get them?”

 

“You could go get Weller and we can meet up in Patterson’s lab” Reade suggested. Jane nodded and headed towards Weller’s office, still sliming.

 

Tasha and Reade walked hand in hand into the lab where they found the blonde concentrated on her computer screen, as always. She looked up as they entered and just like Jane, it took her a moment to understand what was going on.

 

“You know, we had a bet with Jane about when the two of you would come clear about your relationship. She thought you would do it soon after that bomb case but I said Tasha wouldn’t want to rush things up” she said laughing.

 

Reade laughed openly with her but Tasha’s laugh was tense and didn’t last very long. Reade seemed to realize she was still covering her stomach with her jacket and gestured her to take it off. Reluctantly she let Reade take her jacket and she felt exposed, naked.

 

Then Kurt Weller and Jane stepped into the room. Weller’s confused face told them that Jane hadn’t told him what this was about. Reade was standing next to Tasha, with his hand on her shoulder and soon even Weller could see what was going on.

 

“Well, I can’t say I’m really surprised” he said and looked genuinely happy. “I hope this won’t cloud your judgement in the field, though” he said a little more seriously but still smiling.

 

“Yeah about that…” Reade said and Tasha felt a lump in her throat as Reade placed his hand on her stomach. “It’s probably better if she’ll take some time off the field.”

 

Tasha and Reade watched as their team members’ happy smiles turned into surprise. Their eyes were fixed on the small bump which, now that they had seen it, they couldn’t unsee anymore.

 

Patterson was the first to recover from the surprise and she rushed to pull them both into a tight hug.

 

“Congratulations you two! I’m gonna be an auntie” she screamed full of excitement. “How far along are you?”

 

Tasha hadn’t said a word since they entered the building and now she slimed shyly and said quietly:

 

“A little over nine weeks”

 

“Nine weeks!? Have you gone to the maternity clinic yet?”

 

“Actually we have an appointment today at 11:30 AM” Reade answered and then continued looking at Weller “If it’s ok, we’d both like to go.”

 

“Oh, don’t you even think about missing it” he said laughing and stepped closer in Jane’s footsteps to hug and congratulate them both after her.

 

“This actually explains a few things…” Jane said grinning happily. “The nausea you failed to hide wasn’t really caused by stress now, was it?” 

 

“I guess not” Tasha said and let out a short laugh. “Though I honestly thought so myself at first.”

 

***

 

As the clock ticked closer to 11:00 AM Tasha and Reade walked towards Reade’s car. The clinic wasn’t far but they wanted to be there early. They were both feeling nervous and the closer they got the more that feeling grew. They were holding hands while driving and Reade was gently massaging the back of Tasha’s hand.

 

As they got to the small lobby, a kind lady behind her desk asked them for their names and told them to sit down to wait for their names to be called out. She smiled reassuringly as they sat down. Reade put his arm over Tasha’s shoulders and pulled her closer so that she was leaning on him. With his free hand he took Tasha’s hand and laced their fingers tightly together.

 

“It’s all gonna be fine. I know it” he whispered quietly, not only to convince Tasha but also himself.

 

Finally they heard someone calling: “Natasha Zapata.”

 

They glanced at each other and followed the nurse into an examining room. They saw a doctor preparing the ultrasound machine next to the bed in front of them. When she saw them enter the room she got up and came to shake their hands.

 

“Hello! My name is Dr. Lee and I assume you are Natasha? This is your first time, isn’t it?” she said smiling at her.

 

Tasha nodded and smiled a little.

 

“And I assume you are the baby’s father?” she asked turning to Reade.

 

“Um, yes… Yes, I am” he said nervously.

 

“Congratulations to you both” she said and gestured Tasha to lay down on the bed. “Today we’re going to make sure everything is fine and you’ll get to see your little one for the first time.”

 

Tasha laid down on the bed and the doctor rolled her shirt up. Reade stood next to Tasha, looking a little pale, and took her hand again as the doctor started spreading gel on her stomach. Then she clicked on the machine and placed the probe on the gel she had just spread.

 

Suddenly the room was filled with a loud, rhythmical beat. It startled Tasha and she glanced at Reade but his eyes were fixed on something behind her. She turned her head and her heart sank. On the monitor she saw a black and white image and she couldn’t take her eyes off of it. She could make out tiny arms and legs and a little head. She felt like the whole world stopped at that moment and she felt something strange. She didn’t exactly know what it was or how to describe it but the feeling was strong and more intense than anything she had ever felt before. She felt tears in her eyes but didn’t try to stop them.

 

Then she remembered her worries again and looked at the doctor, eyes pleading for an answer: Is everything okay?

 

It was like the doctor had read her thoughts because she smiled and said:

 

“Everything looks fine. Congratulations again, your baby seems to be perfectly healthy and is developing at a normal pace.” Then she looked at them eyes sparkling and said: “I assume you’d like me to print out the first pictures of your little one?”

 

Tasha nodded her head eagerly and looked at Reade. She was surprised to see tears in his eyes. She laughed and smiled at him, wiping away her own tears. Reade was just as speechless as Tasha. He leaned down and kissed her shortly, but passionately. The doctor handed them some napkins to wipe off the gel but when Tasha was about to reach for them, Reade grabbed them before her and grinned. Then he gently wiped off the gel, letting his hand linger on her stomach for a while before pulling her shirt back down.

 

When they were done with the rest of the checkup, the doctor handed them an envelope with the pictures inside it and said:

 

“I’ll see you again soon.”

 

***

 

On the way back to work Reade looked at Tasha and felt happier than ever before. He was finally able to be with the woman he loved with his whole heart and soul and they were going to have a baby together. What more could he ask?

 

Tasha was holding the envelope with the first pictures of their baby inside it. Her other hand was gently rubbing her bump and he could tell that she was deep in her own thoughts. They hadn’t opened the envelope yet but he knew they would have to do it soon because they had promised to show the pictures to the team.

 

Tasha was finally snapped back from her thoughts when Reade parked his car to his parking spot. He turned off the engine and turned to his girlfriend.

 

“Should we open it?” he asked carefully.

 

“Yeah. Let’s do it” she said and slowly pulled out a black and white picture, the same they had seen on the monitor.

 

Even though he had already seen it, he felt his heart skip a few beats. This was their baby, their little creation. And it was perfect. He would never forget the moment when he heard the baby’s heartbeat for the first time and the moment he saw it on the monitor… Words weren’t enough to describe the happiness he felt.

 

Reade felt tears in his eyes again as he watched Tasha watching the picture and he felt like his heart was about to explode. He laid his hand on Tasha’s smaller one, which was now resting on her stomach. He was overwhelmed by how real it all felt now. Tasha looked at him and he saw the same thoughts reflecting from her eyes.

 

“I love you” he said and stroked her hair. “Both of you.”


	2. You Make Me Believe

Reade winced awake in the morning and found the bed empty. At first worry filled his mind because he was still used to Tasha sleeping in every morning. Then he remembered that the past few days Tasha’s mood had been completely different: despite the soreness on her back and her slightly swollen ankles, she always seemed to be full of energy. It must be something that happens on the week 20, Reade thought to himself. He found it funny how Tasha’s mood seemed to change every week and every week some new symptoms appeared and he was keeping a list of them. The week before she had felt lightheaded and the week before that she had complained about unusually intense back pain. This week’s new symptom was his favorite so far: in addition to being full of energy, Tasha’s… _drive_ seemed to be unusually high. Reade smiled at the thought of it; it was funny and adorable how eager she seemed to be to get between the sheets. It was a real ego booster for him, too, especially since she was so out of breath all the time. He knew it was just the uterus pressing her lungs but that didn’t stop him from teasing her about it. 

 

He was a little worried, though, because he had read that the baby should start moving around the week 18 or 19 but they hadn’t felt any movements yet. He tried to comfort himself by thinking that every pregnancy was different. Maybe the baby just didn’t feel like moving.

 

He got up and made his way to the kitchen where he found Tasha making breakfast in front of the stove. She didn’t notice him standing in the doorway but he didn’t mind. He wanted to take a moment to look at her as she hustled around the kitchen, humming something to herself. She was wearing only panties and one of his shirts she had thrown on but left unbuttoned showing off her belly, which had grown a lot during the past few weeks. Her wavy hair was on a loose bun on her neck. She was so beautiful his heart started pounding faster and he couldn’t look away.

 

He walked closer until he was standing right behind her and wrapped his arms around her, landing them softly on her bump. She jumped a little but Reade could see her smiling.

 

“It’s true what they say: a pregnant woman in always beautiful” he mumbled into her hair, taking in her wonderful smell.

 

“Good morning to you too, _papi_ ” she said laughing and turned around to kiss him.

 

After pulling away, Reade’s eyes were caught by the pot on the stove.

 

“What on earth are you making?” he asked and his eyes widened.

 

“Just an omelet. With sauerkraut” she said looking at him with puppy eyes and laughed at his stunned face.

 

Reade shook his head but decided to let it go. He had learnt that it was better not to question a pregnant woman’s cravings, especially when the woman in question happened to be a trained FBI agent.

 

Tasha took her omelet from the stove and turned to face Reade again with a playful smile on her face.

 

“My omelet can wait a little longer, though. Right now I’m hungry for something else” she said seductively and slipped two fingers under the waistband of his boxers and looked up at him from under her lashes.

 

Without saying a word Reade lifted her up causing her to laugh from surprise and carried her back to the bedroom.

 

***

 

When they were done, they remained lying on the bed. They still had time before they had to leave for work and they wanted to enjoy every second they could spend alone.

 

Tasha was lying on her side and resting her head on Reade’s chest, still panting. Reade was slowly stroking her hair with one hand while the other one rested on her bump, which was wedged in in between them.

 

Then suddenly they felt it. They looked at each other to make sure they hadn’t imagined it. Their faces were filled with joy as they finally felt the baby kick. And it had been strong enough so that Reade could feel it through Tasha’s skin. Then they felt it again. Tasha rolled on her back and watched as her belly moved as if the baby had started dancing. They both laughed in relief and put their hands on it to feel the movements. They were now pretty confident everything would turn out to be fine at the ultrasound later that day.

 

***

 

On the car ride from work to the maternity clinic they argued about baby names. Today they would most likely find out the gender of the baby so they were both extremely excited.

 

“I like Aidan or Liam if it’s a boy. If it’s a girl, she should definitely be named Alyssa” Reade announced.

 

“I prefer Nathan, if it’s a boy” Tasha said. “If it’s a girl, I think I’d like her to be called Sofia… Or maybe Catalina.”

 

“Hmm… Nathan… I like it” Reade said thoughtfully. “I still prefer Alyssa over Sofia or Catalina, though.”

 

Tasha seemed to think about it for a while.

 

“What if”, she finally said, “we make a deal. If it’s a girl, you’ll get to decide the name. If it’s a boy, it’s my decision. I like all of the suggestions so I think it would be a fair compromise. What do you say?”

 

Reade glanced at her and said:

 

“Deal.” Then he smiled and added “20 bucks it’s a girl.”

 

“You’re on!” Tasha said and laughed.

 

They arrived at the maternity clinic and sat down to wait until the nurse came to get them again. Tasha laid herself on the bed and rolled her shirt up impatiently. They couldn’t wait to hear the baby’s heartbeat again and see how much it had grown.

 

As Dr. Lee was preparing the ultrasound they talked about how the pregnancy was going and what kind of symptoms Tasha had experienced. They told her about the baby’s first kicks they had felt in the morning and the doctor smiled.

 

Then it was finally time to place the probe on Tasha’s belly again and they heard the sound of their baby’s heartbeat fill the room and watched as it appeared on the monitor. It had grown so much. They could now make out its spine and a little mouth and a nose. Then they saw it reaching out with its little hands and saw ten tiny fingers before they were squeezed into tiny fists. Suddenly Tasha felt a hard kick and watched the monitor as the baby stretched its legs. They all started laughing and the doctor said:

 

“The baby seems to be perfectly healthy. And it’s clearly strong.”

 

“Uh oh” Reade teased, “Looks like it’s gonna be a perfect replica of you.”

 

Tasha laughed and punched him gently on the arm. Then she turned to the doctor who was now looking at her monitor.

 

“You were still calling the baby ‘it’. Aren’t you gonna tell us the gender?” she asked.

 

“Your little fellow is doing good job covering its genitalia. We can wait for a while to see if it decides to move so that we can determine the gender.”

 

They waited for a while but the baby was stubbornly still so eventually they decided to give up waiting. Maybe next time they would be luckier.

 

After the doctor was finished with the rest of the checkup, they left the maternity clinic with new pictures of their baby and headed back to work. When they stepped out of the elevator Patterson came running to them and demanded to see the pictures.

 

“Oh my gosh, it is cute! It has your nose, Tasha” she said sounding excited. Her cheering caught the attention of Jane and Weller who had been talking about something in Weller’s office.

 

“How did it go? Did you find out the gender?” Weller asked as they crowded around the pictures.

 

“The baby’s healthy but it seems to be a little bashful because it was covering that area so carefully we still have no idea whether we’re gonna have a girl or a boy” Reade said.

 

“Oh well, you’ll find out soon enough. Just 20 more weeks and you can see for yourselves” Weller said laughing.

 

Tasha had been quiet again for this whole time, which was nothing new. Reade knew she was a little shy about the whole pregnancy thing. She was used to her role as a strong and tough woman among all the men and this ultimate reminder about the differences between men and women made her feel weak, which she was most definitely not. When Reade glanced at her his stomach turned upside down when he noticed she seemed a little pale and looked like she had trouble keeping her balance.

 

“Tasha, honey, are you feeling alright?” he asked and put his arms on her waist trying to steady her.

 

“Mmmh… I just feel a little dizzy…” she managed to say before her legs failed and she started falling. Reade thanked his luck he had noticed her lightheadedness in time and he was able to grab her and lift her up before she hit the ground. She didn’t seem to be fully conscious and Reade had to carry her to the infirmary they luckily had in the building.

 

He laid her down on her side on the bed, as the doctor instructed, and placed a pillow under her legs. He was worried about Tasha and the baby as he sat and waited for her to regain consciousness. Then he saw Tasha’s belly bouncing a little and smiled: at least the baby seemed to be doing fine.

 

Finally Tasha opened her eyes again.

 

“Hey” Reade said. “You scared me. Are you feeling better?”

 

“Yeah, I’m okay” she smiled a little. “Thank you.”

 

The doctor handed her a glass of water which she emptied quickly. Slowly they helped her to sit up again after the doctor had examined her and declared that Tasha and the baby were both fine. Her fainting was simply caused by her body adjusting to the changes woman’s body goes through during pregnancy and it was nothing to be worried about.

 

The doctor left the room giving them a little moment of privacy.

 

“I’m glad you’re both okay” Reade said sitting on the bed next to Tasha. “Promise me next time you say something when you start feeling dizzy, _before_ you faint.”

 

“Hey, I’m fine. _We_ are fine. You heard the doctor, this is normal and there’s nothing to worry about” Tasha waved off his worry.

 

“But what if I hadn’t noticed you were about to pass out? You could have hurt yourself. Tasha, this is serious. I know asking help isn’t easy for you but you need understand that this is isn’t about your pride. You need to stop thinking like an agent and start thinking like a mother.” 

 

Tasha got up and looked at him furiously.

 

“It’s so easy for you to tell me how I should be feeling and what I should be thinking. You’re not the one who had to struggle through childhood practically without parents and pick yourself up to make something of yourself only to fall apart one time after another. You have no idea how hard I had to work before any man took me seriously. So I’m sorry I can’t just turn off my agent mode and turn on my mother mode because the only reason I survived and got this far is that the only mode I have left is the agent mode. I don’t even know what a good mother is like so how the hell am I supposed to just turn that mode on when it doesn’t exist? It just doesn’t work like that. I never _planned_ on having a child and to be honest I never really even thought about it because I never thought it was an option for me. But here I am, carrying _your_ child, and the truth is that I am scared as hell. As long as you’re not the one who has someone growing inside you, you have no right to tell me how I should feel.”

 

At this point tears were running down Tasha’s cheeks. Reade wanted to get up, wipe them off and hold her tight but he knew her too well: she would run away the moment he tried to do so. He was stunned by her outburst. He knew the hormones played their part in it but the pain in her voice made it clear that this was more than that. Slowly he got up and looked deep into Tasha’s eyes. They screamed pure pain which made his heart break a little.

 

“Tasha, I didn’t know you felt like this. All I’ve seen when I’ve looked at you during these past few months is happiness. But I guess I should know you well enough by now to know that you would try to hide this under it.” He placed his hand on her shoulder. “I know you’ve been through a lot and you’re used to surviving on your own and I know I can’t completely understand everything that is going on in your head right now. But what I do know is that this is something you won’t have to go through alone. Like you said, this is my child too, this is _our_ child, and I am going to be here for you. You know I would do anything for you but you have you let me. Relationship is about trust so I need you to trust me when I say that I’m not going anywhere and we’re gonna figure this out together. I love you and I would never leave you so no need to worry about that. I’m not going to let anything happen to you or to our baby. You are my world and I can’t stand seeing you hurt like this.”

 

Tasha didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what she had done to deserve his love. She had never believed in true love and she had laughed at the girls at school who were always dreaming of finding their soul mate, their Prince Charming, who would change their world and love them unconditionally. She had never believed in it until now. Even when Reade had told her he loved her, even during these past few months, she realized, she had wanted to believe it but she hadn’t truly let herself believe it. She was so used to men using her for a while, claiming that they loved her right until the moment they left her and she was alone again. This was different. Reade was different. His words weren’t just words, they were full of caring and love and his eyes showed pure sincerity which was something she had never experienced before.

 

“I’m sorry” she whispered. “I don’t deserve you.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Reade was surprised by her reaction. He took her head between his hands and said “First of all, you have nothing to apologize for. And secondly… Gosh Tasha I don’t even know what to say. You are the most amazing person I’ve met in my life. You are strong, stronger than you even realize, stronger than any man I know. You’re breathtakingly beautiful, intelligent and caring. Truthfully, I ask myself every day what I did to deserve someone like you. You need to give yourself more credit, Tasha. There’s no one I’d rather have as my baby mama.”

 

There was a long moment of silence. Tasha was too overwhelmed to think of anything to say. Then out of nowhere she wrapped her arms around him, buried her face into his chest and squeezed him tightly like she was afraid he would disappear if she let him go. She felt Reade take her in his arms and place a kiss on the top of her head.

 

“I love you” she said. “More than I’ll ever be able to tell you.”

 

Reade laughed a little and said:

 

“I know the feeling.”

 

That made her laugh too and she finally pulled away a little so that she was able to kiss him.

 

“We should go… The team is probably worried” she finally said reluctantly.

 

“Yeah… Patterson has probably lost her mind by now. I’m surprised she hasn’t stormed in yet” Reade joked.

 

Reade still had his arm wrapped tightly around Tasha’s shoulders as they finally walked out of the infirmary.


	3. Family Issues

Turned out he had been right about Patterson. She freaked out completely when she saw Tasha’s eyes which were red and swollen from crying.

 

“Oh my gosh are you okay? Is the baby okay? What happened?”

 

“You can calm down, we’re both fine” Tasha said laughing.

 

“Thank god! I was so worried!” she said and gave them both a hug.

 

Then she looked at them and said hesitantly:

 

“Um… I understand if you wanna sit this one out but we got a lead on the case.”

 

“Tell the team I’ll meet them there, I’m just gonna take her home first” Reade said quickly.

 

“Just go! I’m fine now, I don’t need to go home. Besides, I have Patterson to babysit me here. I’ll be fine” Tasha assured him.

 

She could see he didn’t like it but couldn’t come up with a good enough argument so instead he just kissed her shortly and said:

 

“Fine. Call me if anything happens. We’ll be right back.”

 

Then he sped towards the locker room where Weller and Jane were already getting ready.

 

Tasha followed Patterson back to her lab. On the way there Patterson was blabbing about her plans for the baby and she made Tasha swear they would go shopping for baby clothes later.

 

When they arrived in the lab, Tasha listened as Patterson went through the plan with the team through the comms. It made her wish she could be on the field with her team again. She wanted to be there, backing them up and help them to get back safe. To get Reade back safe. She was pulled back from her longing thoughts by Patterson:

 

“I always knew you two would end up together” she said matter-of-factly as she sat down in front of her computers.

 

“You should have told that to me too, would have saved me a lot of trouble” Tasha laughed and sat behind Patterson’s desk. It felt good to lift her aching legs up.

 

“Where’s the fun in that?” the blonde joked back and turned to her computer.

 

Tasha closed her eyes and suddenly she felt exhausted. Maybe she should have let Reade take her home.

 

“So, has he popped the question yet?”

 

Patterson’s question took Tasha by surprise.

 

“What?” was the only word she was able to get out of her mouth.

 

“I mean not only are you guys having a baby together but you’ve been in love with each other for a few years now, whether you want to admit it or not, so it would make all the sense in the world” Patterson said and turned back to face Tasha.

 

She was shocked, not only by her friend’s question but also by the fact that she hadn’t even thought about it before.

 

“Um… No, no we haven’t talked about it. I think it’s better to take care of one thing at a time” she finally answered patting her stomach.

 

Patterson looked at her for a moment before simply replying “Right…” but the tone of her voice and the smirk she failed to hide left Tasha feeling restless. How could it be that the thought hadn’t even crossed her mind before?

 

Suddenly she felt butterflies in her stomach and they were not caused by the little fellow living there. Ever since she had found out she was pregnant and that Reade was going to be there next to her, all she could think about was how lucky she was she didn’t have to go through this alone and how much she loved him and the baby. She was now committed to those two and for someone who wasn’t used to loving and being loved, for someone who had been avoiding commitment for her whole life, it was overwhelming. The thought of marriage terrified her but she was surprised to realize that there was a part of her that was intrigued by it. Maybe it was because she had finally allowed herself to believe in true love and she believed she had found it in Reade. Also, to be reasonable, having a baby already tied them together, which she didn’t mind at all, so marriage wouldn’t really change much, right? It would just make it official. Patterson was right: it would make sense.

 

She found herself fantasizing about walking down the aisle in a white dress, Reade waiting for her on the other end… Then she snapped back to reality and shook her head. She had always thought it would never be possible for her to have any of this and the thought of it felt strange. The woman she had imagined walking down the aisle just wasn’t her. She was a complete stranger. Someone who had made very different choices and lived a very different life.

 

***

 

“Hey, you”

 

Tasha winced awake when she felt someone’s hand stroking her hair. She opened her eyes and saw Reade smiling down at her. She realized she had fallen asleep in Patterson’s chair and she had no idea what time it was. She stretched her back which was unusually sore from sleeping in a chair.

 

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty. I’m sorry to wake you up but I figured you’d rather continue your sleep in an actual bed” Reade grinned and revealed a perfect row of white teeth.

 

“Mmmh…” she rubbed her eyes and yawned. “How long was I asleep? What time is it?”

 

“It’s 5:30. You were out for two hours” Patterson said with a smirk on her face. “At first I thought you passed out again but then you started snoring and I think it became very clear for pretty much everyone on this floor that you were just asleep.”

 

Tasha blushed and said half irritated, half amused:

 

“Well, you try sleeping in an uncomfortable chair while someone’s pressing against your lungs. I can’t even walk longer than 10 feet without getting out of breath.”

 

That made both, Reade and Patterson laugh and she wasn’t able to keep her face completely straight either.

 

“To be honest I kinda like it. It’s a real ego booster for me” Reade said with the widest smirk.

 

“Ew, I’ll never be able to unhear that…” Patterson said and her face displayed something between shock and amusement.

 

The atmosphere was cheerful as they left the building and headed towards Reade’s car in the dim light of the streetlights. When they arrived there, Reade put his hands on Tasha’s waist and pinned her gently against the car.

 

“I love you. So much” he said and smiled.

 

His smile and his words made her feel like she was on top of the world. She got up on her tip toes and pressed her lips against his. She loved these moments when there were just the two of them. She wanted to enjoy every second she could spend with him. She wished this could go on forever but she knew it wasn’t possible because they had a baby on the way. Everything would change once the baby was born. Everything would be different, more serious and they would never get this time back. She didn’t regret her decision to keep the baby, not at all, but she wished things had happened in a different order.

 

“I love you, too” she smiled up at him. “So, so much.”

 

They stood there for a while, enjoying the feeling of being close to each other. Finally Reade said:

 

“It’s chilly out here. Let’s go home.”

 

“Actually, I was thinking… I’d like to go shopping for some… baby stuff” Tasha said and felt herself blush a little and silently thanked the darkness for hiding her red cheeks. She was expecting Reade to tease her for suggesting something that was so out of character for her but instead he just smiled and said:

 

“I would love that.”

 

They got into his car and headed towards the mall.

 

***

 

“Oh my gosh, look at this one! How cute is it?” Tasha said eyes sparkling as she held out a fluffy, warm-looking bodysuit with a hood that would make a baby look like a teddy bear. Reade laughed and said:

 

“It is adorable! But not even close as adorable as you are right now. I feel like you’re revealing a completely new side of yourself!”

 

He felt like his heart was about to explode out of sheer happiness and love he felt. He never thought he would see Tasha like this but there they were; shopping baby clothes together and he had never felt such happiness. 

 

“I’m just as surprised as you are, believe me” she laughed and added the bodysuit to the basket Reade was carrying. It was slowly filling up with tiny clothes, bottles, a few toys and pacifiers.

 

Reade could see that Tasha had finally accepted the fact that she was a mother-to-be. She seemed like her confident self again, which she hadn’t been in a long time. There was also something different about her and he knew exactly what it was: she had found the balance between her ‘agent mode’ and her ‘mother mode’ and she seemed free. It was like she had locked herself in a cage to protect herself from all the pain but it had also stopped her from feeling all the good things life has to offer. Now she had finally allowed herself to step out of that cage and actually _feel_ and be free. He could see it in the way she was and in the way she walked as they left the store, hand in hand.

 

Suddenly a voice coming from somewhere behind them caused them to jump.

 

“Natasha?”

 

They turned around and saw an elder woman approach them slowly. Her hair was grey and years had left their marks on her face but when Reade saw her eyes he knew who she was even before he heard Tasha’s answer:

 

“Grandma? What are you doing here?”

 

“Well, this is a mall. I was Christmas shopping. But, mijita, did I just see you come out of a baby gear store hand in hand with this man?” She had a strong accent as she spoke.

 

“Grandma… I…” Tasha was squirming and clearly very uncomfortable in the situation. Reade wanted to help her get out of the situation so he stepped forward and held out his hand for the elder lady.

 

“My name is Edgar Reade. I’m your granddaughter’s boyfriend.”

 

“I am very pleased to meet you, Edgar” she said and shook his hand. “How about we all enjoy a cup of coffee and you can tell me all about your reasons to visit a baby gear store.”

 

Tasha glanced at Reade who squeezed her hand reassuringly. They followed Tasha’s grandmother to a cozy café which was full of people who needed a break from their Christmas shopping. They placed their orders and found themselves the only unoccupied table in the crowded space.

 

Tasha was clearly relieved to be able to sit down. Reade took off her jacket and revealed her already noticeably big bump and it wasn’t left unnoticed by her grandmother. They all sat down and for a moment her she just looked back and forth between Tasha and Reade with her wise, all-seeing eyes. Then finally she said:

 

“When I saw you walk out of that store, for a moment I was hoping you might have been buying a gift for a friend. I didn’t want to believe you would hide something like this from me.”

 

“I wasn’t hiding anything! I just… I wasn’t ready to tell you. And I didn’t know how to do it” she looked at her hands while answering. Then she laughed a little and added: “But I guess I proved you wrong; my ovaries are still very much alive.”

 

Reade had to use all his will power to stop himself from laughing. Even Tasha’s grandma smiled a little and leaned back in her chair. Then she turned her attention to Reade and said:

 

“I assume you are the man behind that” gesturing at Tasha’s belly. Reade nodded.

 

“So are you serious about this? Or are you one of those men who knock a girl up and leave?”

 

“Grandma!” Tasha exclaimed in shock. Reade put his hand on hers and said:

 

“It’s okay.” Then he looked at Tasha’s grandmother and answered honestly:

 

“Yes, ma’am, I am serious. I love her with everything in me and I would never leave her. Ever.”

 

Tasha looked at him, dark eyes glistening and Reade returned her the same look.

 

“I know. I can see that. I just wanted to hear you say it, I wanted to know what kind of man you are” she said after observing them for a moment. “Though, I can’t help but notice the lack of sparkling in her ring finger.”

 

Now it was Reade’s turn to run out of words. Tasha, on the other hand, was growing mad.

 

“That’s enough! You wanna know why it was so hard for me to tell you? Because I knew you would find a reason to judge me! Why can’t you just be happy for me?”

 

“I’m not judging you, mijita. I’m just worried about you. I don’t want you to end up like your mother.”

 

“I am not my mother! And to be honest I don’t think the outcome would have been very different even if my parents had got married. They were just two drunks who didn’t give a damn about anything else than their liquor. I am not like my parents. And Ed most certainly is nothing like them. But I can see it in your eyes that you don’t believe it. You see me as my mother and you try to correct the mistakes you made with her by raising me like I was her, like you were sure I’m gonna end up like her if you don’t. I’m grateful that you and grandpa took me and my brother in after what happened with my mother, but it’s time you understand that I am not her. I am my own person and I am not a child you have to raise anymore. I am 31 years old and soon I’ll have my own child to raise. And for the first time in my life I am truly happy, I have my life under control and I’m with the man I love. So why can’t you just let me be happy?” Tasha’s voice was trebling as she let it all out. Her second outburst of the day made people in nearby tables turn their heads, curious to see what was going on.

 

A shadow seemed to have been cast over her grandmother’s eyes and suddenly she looked old and tired and somehow fragile.

 

“I am truly sorry, mijita. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. I am just worried about you because you are all I have left. Your bother chose the same path as your parents and look where it got him. I don’t want to lose you too.”

 

Tasha closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. Reade was slowly massaging her back and his touch helped her relax a little and get herself back together.

 

“I know” she finally said. “I know you want what’s best for me, but I am a grown woman now and I’ve got far in my life and now I’m asking you to trust me. That is the only way I can keep you in my life. You need to stop treating me like a child who you know is going to fail you and start seeing me for who I am. Do you think you can do that?”

 

Her grandma nodded.

 

“Yes, yes that I can do. And mijita, I want you to know that I’m truly happy for you. You are going to be a great mother and I can’t wait to meet my great-grandchild.”

 

A weak smile appeared on Tasha’s face and she leaned back and rubbed her stomach gently. Then she seemed to remember something and reached for her purse. She pulled out an envelope and Reade recognized it as the one containing the pictures they got from the maternity clinic earlier.

 

“Would you like to see it?” she asked her.

 

Her grandma nodded eagerly and Tasha handed her the envelope. She pulled out the pictures and for a while she just studied them with a strange look on her face. Then Reade saw her eyes glisten with tears as she traced the baby’s features with her finger.

 

“It is perfect” she said her voice cracking a little. “I never thought I would see this day. Natasha, you have no idea how happy this makes me.”

 

Tasha got up and walked around the table to give her grandmother a hug. The argument was over as fast as it had begun. They seemed to be on the same page again and they both seemed happy. Reade had never met any of Tasha’s family members before and she didn’t really talk about them. He knew her parents had been drunks and they were both dead now and he knew her grandparents took her and her brother in when Tasha was ten years old but that was pretty much all he knew. Still, he was happy there was someone in her family who cared for her and was part of her life.

 

***

 

Tasha was quiet on the car ride back to Reade’s apartment. She was exhausted and lost deep in her own thoughts. The day had been long and eventful and she was ready to snuggle up as close to Reade as she could and fall asleep in his safe arms. She thought about the encounter with her grandmother and she didn’t know what to think about it. For weeks she had tried to bring herself to pick up the phone and call her but she couldn’t do it. She loved her grandmother; she had saved her from the hell that had been her home for the first ten years of her life and she was grateful for that. But she had always failed to see that Tasha wasn’t her mother and she was gonna make her own mistakes but her mistakes weren’t the same as her mother’s. She was never gonna be like her because she had seen the hell she was living in and she never wanted to go back to that. And now she certainly didn’t want her own child to go through that.

 

“Are you okay?” Reade asked as they stopped at red lights. Tasha looked at him and smiled tiredly.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just really tired.”

 

“Just a little longer and we’ll get you to bed” he said and smiled lovingly at her.

 

A few minutes later he parked his car in front of his apartment building and helped Tasha out of the car. He grabbed their shopping bag and together they walked up to his apartment where Tasha immediately undressed herself and fell on the bed. Reade followed her soon and she curled up next to him and quickly fell asleep in his warmth.


	4. Moving On

Tasha woke up in the morning feeling rested but still tired which is something only another mother would understand. A warm happiness filled her when she realized it was Saturday and they wouldn’t have to go to work unless they were called in. She opened her eyes and saw Reade looking at her with a smile on his face.

 

“Hey” he said and stroked back a hair from her face.

 

“Hey” she replied and smiled. “How long have you been awake?”

 

“Two hours or so”

 

“Why didn’t you wake me up? What time is it?” she asked eyes widened.

 

“And miss the opportunity to watch you sleep? Not a chance. I will never get tired of watching you sleep.” he laughed.

 

“Mm I’m trying to decide whether that’s creepy or cute” she joked. “You didn’t tell me the time yet.”

 

“It’s 11 o’clock”

 

“Wait what? Are you telling me I slept for 14 hours?” she said in disbelief.

 

“You seemed like you needed it. Besides, we have nothing planned for today so you’re good” Reade said and she relaxed again.

 

They lay on the bed in silence for a while, snuggling and simply enjoying the moment until Tasha broke the silence:

 

“I know you must have thousands of questions regarding to the conversation with my grandma yesterday and I wanna thank you for not asking them.”

 

“I figured you’d tell me when you’re ready” Reade answered simply. She was right though, he had questions but he didn’t wanna push it. He wanted to give her the time she needed to process everything.

 

Tasha sighed.

 

“I think I’m ready now. Besides, I want us to stay honest with each other. You deserve to know.”

 

She took a deep breath concentrated on tracing his abs with her finger. Then she begun:

 

“As you know, my grandparents took me and my brother in when I was ten and Nate was twelve years old. My grandparents didn’t even know we existed before the social services contacted them so you can only imagine their shock when they found out they had two grandchildren. They were the only relatives we had left when our mother was charged with manslaughter and DUI after she was involved in a hit-and-run. She died in prison a few years later. Our father had left us years before that but he died of an alcohol intoxication not too long after leaving us. The first ten years of my life were hell, there’s no other way to describe them now that I look back. I’d rather not remember all the beatings we got just simply because we existed and how we had to steal food to survive when our mother used whatever little money she had on alcohol so I hope you don’t mind if I don’t go into details here.”

 

She took a small break and glanced at Reade to see his reaction. He just looked at her, his warm puppy eyes full of compassion. She loved it how he could make her feel safe just by looking at her, just by being there. She knew it without saying that he wasn’t going anywhere, that he would still be there when she was finished and that meant more to her than she could ever tell him. That gave her strength to continue:

 

“Moving to our grandparents’ house was a big and an important change for us but it wasn’t as easy as you might think. When you have lived your whole childhood without rules and without anyone to take care of you it is hard to adjust to living under strict discipline and have someone schedule your day for you, minute by minute. My grandparents knew our mother had neglected us for all our lives so they tried to undo the damage she had caused with discipline but what they didn’t understand was that while it changed us it also destroyed us. The change was too radical for us, especially for Nate since he was nearly thirteen when we moved. I guess that’s part of the reason he ended up the way he did.”

 

A single tear escaped Tasha’s eye. She never talked about her brother and Reade had no idea where he was or what his condition was but he could see this part was the most painful for Tasha.

 

“Nate started using when he was only fourteen. At first it was just weed and alcohol but soon he moved on to cocaine, speed, LSD, you name it. When he was twenty…” Tasha’s voice cracked and she had to take a break as silent tears ran down her face. “When he was twenty he was in an accident. He was driving in a car with his friends… They were all on speed and they were driving 100 mph when they hit a tree. Everybody died, except for my brother who was on the back seat. He was left with a severe brain damage and he has lived in a medical facility specialized for brain damaged people ever since. I go there to see him some times but it’s hard… He doesn’t recognize me and he isn’t able to form real sentences. My grandpa died of a heart attack a few years back so my grandma is the only one I have left.”

 

She looked at Reade again. He was still watching her, listening to every word she said and he was still there. They looked at each other for a long time and then Tasha said:

 

“So… Now you know.”

 

Reade stroked her hair gently and said:

 

“Now I know”

 

Then he pulled her closer, wrapped his arms around her and buried his face into her hair.

 

“You were wrong though” he suddenly said.

 

“What do you mean?” Tasha asked, confused.

 

“You said your grandma is the only one you have left. That is not true. You have me now and I’m not going anywhere. And I promise you, Natasha Zapata, that as long as I live, you will never have to be alone again.”

 

Tears ran down her cheeks and ended up on his chest and her whole body was shaking as she let the emotions take over. Reade held her tighter against him to let her know that he was there for her. It felt good to let it all out. For years she had let it all build up inside her because she had been unable to talk about the things that had happened to her. She had never had anyone she trusted enough to let herself be vulnerable around them. But now she had Reade and she felt like it was necessary to go through this in order to move on with her life. She had to be able to leave the past behind her and get over all the hurt for the sake of her child.

 

***

 

A few hours later Tasha woke up feeling confused and it took her a while to realize she had fallen asleep. Her eyes felt heavy from all the crying but her heart was light, lighter than it had been in a long time, possibly ever before and she felt good. Except that she was starving. Reade wasn’t next to her anymore and she missed him already. She looked around his apartment but didn’t see him. Then she noticed a little note on the pillow next to her. It said:

 

_“Went out to get us some food, didn’t wanna wake you up. BRB._

_I love you xx”_

She smiled and got up and put on one of his hoodies. She loved wearing his clothes, they were so comfortable compared to her clothes even though she was wearing maternity clothes. Besides, they smelled like him which made her feel like he was close even when he wasn’t actually there.

 

She headed to the kitchen where she found a pot of hot coffee ready for her.

 

“Oh, Ed, you’re gonna spoil me rotten…” she muttered happily to herself.

 

She poured herself a cup and felt her senses wake up as she breathed in the smell. Just as she took her first sip, she heard the door open. She quickly set her cup on the counter and rushed to greet Reade as he walked in the door. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately before he could even close the door behind him. He laughed when she pulled away to let him come all the way in and close the door behind him.

 

“What was that for?” he wanted to know, still chuckling.

 

“I’m just glad you’re back” Tasha said and laughed too.

 

Reade set the bag he was carrying on the counter and took of his jacket. Then he grabbed Tasha’s waist and pulled her closer to kiss her again.

 

“I guess I should leave more often because I sure enjoy this welcoming committee” he said and his hands were exploring her already familiar body. He cupped her breasts into his hands and kissed her neck. His touch felt good and it sent chills down Tasha’s spine. She had to use all her will power to pull away because she was starving and needed food.

 

“You don’t wanna ruin the main course by enjoying you dessert first” she said with a wide smirk.

 

“Mm I take that as a promise” he said and pressed a kiss on her forehead.

 

“Count on it” she said and turned her attention to the pizza Reade had brought.

 

They sat down to eat together and Reade found it overly funny that she attacked the pizza like a hungry wolf but after two slices she was so full her stomach was hurting.

 

“Stop laughing at me, being pregnant isn’t easy. You are hungry all the time but you can’t eat that much at once because there’s no space for the food in your stomach because there’s a baby taking up all the space. But believe me, I’ll be hungry again in no time and then we’d better have some of this pizza left for me to eat” she said, only half joking.

 

“Uh oh, I’d better be careful not to eat it all then. I wouldn’t dare to cross a pregnant woman” Reade said with a seemingly terrified face.

 

Tasha got up and wobbled towards the couch, punching Reade on the shoulder on the way. She laid herself on the couch to rest up a little; even eating was exhausting for her nowadays. Reade settled on his knees on the floor next to her and put his hand on her belly. Then he rolled up the hoodie and unveiled the bump that was their little one. He put both of his hands on it and pressed a kiss on it and whispered something so quietly even Tasha couldn’t hear it. She let him touch her without interrupting. She didn’t mind it at all. She trusted him completely and even though she never thought she would feel that way about anyone, she didn’t care where he touched her, it would never feel too intrusive.

 

Suddenly she wanted him, desperately. She put her hand behind his head and gently stroked his hair. He turned his attention to her and moved closer so that he could kiss her. Then, before Tasha even noticed it, he had ditched the hoodie she was wearing and moved on to his own clothes. Soon they were both naked and Reade kept kissing her body all over. His touch was so familiar and felt so safe it was easy for Tasha to relax and let him slowly disappear behind her belly. He knew her spot and had no trouble finding it causing her to gasp sharply. He knew just what to do to make her legs start shaking uncontrollably.

 

He kept going until he felt she was getting close. Then he pulled away letting her catch her breath for a moment while he grabbed a Kleenex to wipe his mouth. She lay on the couch panting heavily with her eyes closed. She opened them when she felt Reade over her and smiled up at him.

 

“You’re too good at this. I’m not sure how much longer I would have been able to breathe” she laughed.

 

“Only the best for my queen” Reade grinned and distracted her with a kiss while he slowly entered her.

 

They were already so familiar with each other’s bodies that they knew the best angles, the best positions to make it equally pleasing and satisfying for both of them. And Reade knew how to listen to her body when he was doing all the work and he knew when he needed to slow down to let her breathe for a while just as he knew when to pick up the pace when she was close. She let out a little scream and gasped for air and he felt her walls tighten around him. He came soon after her and laid himself next to her. She snuggled up against him once again: it was her favorite place in the whole world. He stroked her back and listened to her breathing slow down, little by little.

 

“You okay?” he asked, just to be sure.

 

She looked up at him and smiled:

 

“Never better.”

 

“You know I’ve been thinking…” he started but paused, like he was trying to find the right words “I think we should get an apartment of our own. I mean we already practically live together but once the baby is born neither one of our apartments is big enough for all three of us.”

 

Tasha looked up at him but he couldn’t read her face.

 

“You want us to officially move together?”

 

“Yeah… It would make sense. We still have time so you don’t need to decide now if-“ Tasha interrupted him by pressing her finger on his lips. Then she kissed him and said:

 

“No need to think about it. I think we should do it. As soon as possible.”

 

“Are you sure? It’s a big step.”

 

“Like you said, we already practically live together so it wouldn’t really change much. It would just make things a whole lot easier.”

 

“Alright” he said and got up.

 

“Where are you going?” Tasha asked.

 

“Wait a second” he said as he was pulling his boxers back on. He grabbed his laptop and a blanket and after wrapping the blanket around Tasha he turned on his laptop. It took him a minute to find the web page he was looking for. Then he turned the laptop so that Tasha could see the screen which now displayed a picture of an apartment building.

 

“Are you ready?” Reade asked and started clicking on the pictures without waiting for an answer. The next picture she saw was a picture of a spacious, modern but yet welcoming kitchen. The next picture was of a cozy living room, the next one was a stylish bathroom. She saw a beautiful master bedroom with an ensuite bathroom, two more bedrooms, laundry room and a nice balcony.

 

Tasha was speechless.

 

“Where did you find this?” she asked in awe. That apartment had everything she could ask for, it was perfect.

 

“An old buddy of mine is selling it and he asked if I knew anyone who might be interested. It’s spacious, recently renovated and we would have a 15-minute dive to work. What do you think?”

 

“It is perfect! When can we go see it?” Tasha was suddenly full of energy and she was excited about this new apartment and the fact that they would soon be officially living together. She knew it was a big step but for some reason, she wasn’t nervous. At least not yet.

 

“I can call my buddy right now and ask if he could give us a tour. If you want, that is.”

 

“Of course I want!” she exclaimed excitedly. Then her face fell a little and she asked carefully: “But... Can we afford it?”

 

Reade laughed.

 

“Don’t you worry about that. You see, my buddy is an old football coach who had a successful career and this is just one of his residences. Now he wants to retire in Thailand so he just wants to get rid of this and a few other apartments around the country. He has money so he doesn’t really care about it so he’s selling it for a ridiculously low price” Reade explained.

 

Tasha’s face brightened up immediately and Reade picked up his phone to make the call.

 

***

 

No longer than two weeks later they were standing in their new apartment with keys in their hand. Tasha still found it hard to believe that she had just bought an apartment together with Reade and they were officially starting a life together. Even though they had practically been living together since she had told Reade about her pregnancy but this was _official_. It felt more real now, more serious.

 

They had decided it  was better to move as soon as possible so that they would have time to make themselves at home and get things ready for the baby before they found themselves in a hurry to do so. Now Reade was carrying the moving boxes from the U-Haul they had rented, up to their third-floor apartment and Tasha was emptying the boxes and trying to find a place for everything. The rest of the team was supposed to be there helping them but they had been called in to handle an urgent matter at work so they were alone. They didn’t have whole lot of stuff because their previous apartments had been a lot smaller and they had always spent most of their time at work anyway so they had had no reason to buy useless items to decorate  their homes.

 

They spent the whole day carrying their stuff up to their apartment and organizing it. It was around 8:00 PM when Tasha stumbled towards the couch among all the moving boxes, some of which were already empty but most of them were still waiting for their attention. She was exhausted and her legs were sore and she was desperate to lift them up as soon as possible.

 

She was on the week 22 now and she was getting bigger by the week. She wasn’t comfortable, no matter what position she was in and she barely slept so she wasn’t exactly excited to see just how uncomfortable she could get before this was over.

 

“Are you okay? Do you need anything?” Reade asked worriedly as he sat down on the couch and took her legs on his lap and started massaging her feet. She let out a satisfied groan and leaned back with her eyes closed.

 

“Just a good night’s sleep” she murmured and smiled tiredly. “Thank you for this.”

 

“It’s the least I can do. You’re the one doing hardest work of all by carrying our baby so it is my responsibility to try to make you feel as comfortable as I possibly can. I know there isn’t much I can do to help you but whatever little I can do, I will.”

 

“I know, Ed, I know” she said and looked at her boyfriend. She knew he wanted to help her but he was right; there was very little he could do. Though, she had to admit that the foot massage he was giving her was more than welcome. “You help me a lot by just being here” she added.

 

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

 

“It must be the team” Reade stated and got up to let them in.

 

Tasha sighed. She truly enjoyed their company but right now she was exhausted. Nevertheless, seeing them walk in made her feel happy.

 

“My gosh this place is beautiful! Regardless of the moving boxes” Patterson said looking around in their open concept kitchen/dining room/living room space. Jane and Weller who were right behind her agreed. Then they spotted Tasha who was still sitting on the couch, too tired to get up.

 

“Hey you, how are you doing? Weller was the first one to ask.

 

“Would be better if there was a position I could be comfortable in” she said and let out a tired laugh.

 

“Don’t worry, we won’t be staying for long” said Jane apologetically when she saw how tired her Latina friend was. 

 

“Don’t worry about it, I appreciate you coming here” she said sincerely. “God, I wish I could have a glass of wine right now. Would you like some?”

 

“If you don’t mind…” Patterson worried.

 

“Seriously, I was just kidding. Ed, could you grab the bottle and a few glasses? The glasses are in the box on the counter.”

 

Soon they were all seated in the living room and everybody, except for Tasha, were sipping their wine and talking about everything that was going on at the moment. Reade was sitting on the couch and massaging Tasha’s feet again. Weller was just telling about a crazy chase from earlier that day when the suspect they were after had clearly decided he wasn’t going to let them bring him in when suddenly Tasha’s belly started bouncing like somebody was trying to get out of there. It startled Tasha a little which made Reade notice quickly what was going on. He laughed and put his hand on her belly to feel the strong kicks.

 

“18 weeks left and it already wants out” laughed Weller.

 

“It is clearly fierce, just like its mother” Patterson chuckled. “Do you mind if I…”

 

“Just come on, feel it” Tasha said before she was able to finish her sentence. “Put your hand right… there” she said guiding Patterson’s hand to the right spot.

 

The look on her face was priceless when she felt the baby’s powerful kick. Soon everybody was crowded around her, laughing and making jokes about the baby being a replica of its mother. This moment was priceless for Tasha. She had finally been able to let go of the embarrassment she had felt before every time someone mentioned her condition. Now she felt proud as she watched her family around her and she saw her own happiness reflect from all their faces. This was her true family, the one that really mattered to her.


	5. Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hope you've enjoyed the story so far! This chapter is a short Christmas special I wanted to write. I intentionally made it short and cute to calm things down a little before all the action... ;)

It was Christmas Eve. Tasha was hustling around in the kitchen, preparing their Christmas dinner as Reade returned from the grocery store.

 

“I got the last pie crust! You should have seen the look one lady gave me when I snatched it before her… Kinda broke my heart but when my lady wants an apple pie, I’ll make sure she’ll get one” he said as he set the bag on the kitchen counter.

 

“No, don’t put it there! I just made some space for the turkey for when I take it out of the oven so don’t start filling it now!” She saw him roll his eyes and she grinned and stopped to give him a kiss as she walked by. “Thank you, babe.”

 

Instead of letting her continue her hustling Reade grabbed her from behind and pulled her into a hug. He placed kisses all over the top of her head, his arms wrapped tightly around her. Tasha laughed and tried to escape his loving embrace.

 

“Stop” she tried to sound serious but her giggling made her lose all her credibility. “Seriously, stop, I need to check if the potatoes are ready!”

 

She turned her head to let him kiss her again. Then he finally let her go and she returned to the stove, still giggling like a little girl.

 

***

 

After a delicious Christmas dinner they curled up on the couch and debated on which Christmas movie they would watch. The atmosphere was relaxed and Reade felt warm happiness take over his entire being. Patterson had invited everybody over for Christmas but they had decided to decline the offer. This would be the first and also the very last time they could spend it alone, just the two of them because starting from the next Christmas they would be a family of three. The thought was strange but it made him happy.

 

Finally they settled for watching _It’s A Wonderful Life_ and Tasha curled up against Reade who covered her with a blanket and pulled her even closer to him. He tried to concentrate on the movie but it was hard to do and he found himself constantly glancing at her, studying her features and just marveling her. She was so precious to him and he was so grateful for her. She was the best thing he had ever had. She made him feel alive.

 

He touched her cheek softly. Tasha looked up at him with her dark eyes full of warmth and smiled.

 

“You’re amazing” he said.

 

She laughed a little and looked at him with a confused look in her eyes.

 

“Where is that coming from?”

 

“I just adore you, that’s all” he said and smiled. “You made this Christmas the best Christmas in my life. And this present is the best and the most precious present anyone can give” he said and placed his hand on her stomach.

 

She placed her hand on top of his and said:

 

“I love you.”


	6. It's Happening

It was the week 37 and Tasha felt like she was about to explode. The baby was about the size of a Swiss chard now but her stomach was more like a gym ball. No matter what she tried to do, her stomach was always on the way. In addition to that she had never felt so uncomfortable in her entire life. She didn’t understand how a human body could take something like this.

 

It was 4 AM and once again she lay awake, woken up by a small contraction, watching Reade as he slept. She envied him: she was at the point where she would give anything for a good night’s sleep but she knew all too well that that wasn’t going to happen any time soon.

 

She sighed and got up which was a lot easier said than done. By the time she was in a sitting position on the edge of the bed she was already panting heavily and had to stop to catch her breath. She glanced at Reade to make sure she hadn’t woken him up and was relieved to see he was still in deep sleep. She got up on her feet and tiptoed to the bathroom. She felt the uterus pressing her bladder again. Having to pee every ten minutes wasn’t the worst of the things she had to go through but it was still extremely annoying. Walking was also getting more and more uncomfortable because, as the doctor had explained, the baby was now in a head-down position and beginning to “drop” down into her pelvis. When she was done she wobbled back to the bedroom, glanced at Reade and headed to the kitchen. Why risk waking him up by climbing back to bed when she wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway?

 

In the kitchen she got herself a glass of water and looked around their apartment. All the moving boxes were gone by now and the place looked cozy. There was a dining table in the middle of the room and in the other end of the room there was a huge, comfortable couch, a coffee table and a TV. During the daytime the open space was filled with natural light coming from the glass doors that led to their balcony. The door to their bedroom was on the right and on the left side there was another bathroom and two more bedrooms.

 

Suddenly she realized her legs had led her to the doorway of the other bedroom they had turned into a nursery. They had been working on it since they moved in and now it was finally ready. The walls were painted with a calm, yellow shade and there was a white crib on the opposite side of the room. In the corner there was a changing table and next to it there were two drawers for clothes and toys. Her favorite thing in the room was a comfortable rocking chair in the other corner where they could sit down and feed the baby and rock it to sleep. They still didn’t know the gender of their baby so everything was gender-neutral which, they had figured, was the best thing to do anyway.

 

Tasha sat down in the rocking chair and looked around. Seeing everything so ready and knowing that her due-date was approaching fast made her nervous. Being pregnant was exhausting and she was ready for it to be over but the thought of being a parent was scary to her. She couldn’t understand how some women seemed to have been born to be mothers. She had met lots of those mothers-to-be in her pregnancy yoga classes and she always felt like an outsider. It seemed as if they had everything figured out, from birth to collage fees. Listening to all those women made her feel guilty for not having a better plan for the future. She didn’t even know if she could be a good mother when all she had ever cared about was her work - until now.

 

She looked down at her stomach and ran her hand slowly up and down .

 

“I really hope I can be the mother you deserve” she said to it. Whenever she looked at it or even thought of the little life inside it her heart was filled with warmth and it was overwhelming to her. She wasn’t able to name all the things she felt because she had never felt such things before and they confused her and also scared her a little. All she knew was that her child deserved a good mother and a better childhood than she had had and she wasn’t quite sure she could offer those things.

 

***

 

Reade woke up to the sound of his alarm clock at 6:30. He reached to turn it off and without opening his eyes he felt the bed next to him. The best part of his morning was always the moment when he got to pull his girlfriend into his arms, take in her smell, place a few kisses on her ever-growing stomach to greet their little baby and hear her beautiful laughter while doing so. Now he couldn’t find her so he opened his eyes and quickly got up as worry filled his mind. He went to the bathroom to see if she was there but it was empty. Then he rushed to check the kitchen and living room but she wasn’t there either. When he arrived at the doorway of the nursery he stopped and a smile spread across his face. Tasha was curled up in the rocking chair, hugging her stomach. She was asleep.

 

Reade walked closer and dropped on his knees next to the rocking chair. He watched Tasha as she slept and love filled his heart. There was something very moving about her and he felt a single tear of happiness run down his cheek. He thought about the time when they were not together and all the torment he went through when he had thought they could never be more than friends. They had been best friends for so long and for almost that long he had loved her as so much more than just a friend. His love for her just kept growing day by day and he couldn’t understand how it was possible to love someone so much. He wished he had the words to tell her how much he loved her because a simple “I love you” just wasn’t enough. He knew that the next step for him was to show it to her…

 

He smiled and pressed a kiss on her belly and watched her as she slowly opened her eyes.

 

***

 

“There she wobbles” Weller greeted them as they stepped out of the elevator at the office two weeks later. If looks could kill, the look Tasha shot him with would have left him gutted on the floor.

 

“I’d like to see you try to walk when you feel like you have a bowling ball between your legs” she muttered between her teeth. Everybody laughed at her irritation and she couldn’t help but join them. She knew the sight of her was probably amusing since she was way shorter than average and her stomach seemed oversized in comparison to her height.

 

“Guys, there is something you need to hear. Now” Patterson said from the doorway. They all started heading to her lab to hear what was so urgent.

 

Tasha squeezed Reade’s hand to get his attention and said:

 

“Go ahead, I need to go to the bathroom.”

 

“Is it another contraction?” he asked worriedly.

 

“No, I just really need to pee” she said and laughed.

 

“Okay" answered and kissed her forehead and followed Jane to the lab.

 

Tasha was officially on maternity leave but she refused to stay home alone for the whole day so she came in every morning. Reade had finally agreed to this because he didn’t like the idea of her being alone if something happened but she had had to promise him she wouldn’t burden herself with work. She spent most of her day in Patterson’s lab, running down some small leads on her computer every once in a while. Sometimes she went down to the gym to do yoga and some light Pilates moves. But the truth was that she was bored. She wasn’t used to having nothing to do and she didn’t know what to do with all the time she had now. Usually she would go for a run or get some other type of exercise done when she had nothing else to do but now all she could do was a little yoga and Pilates. The only reason Patterson let her run down leads was that she was afraid Tasha would “die of boredom” as she had put it.

 

Her favorite part of the day was when she got to go home with Reade. She enjoyed Patterson’s company too but she always had her hands full of work so she didn’t want to distract her, especially since she knew her team members’ lives were often in her hands. When she was with Reade, she knew she had his full attention and she felt good when she was around him. He was the one person she could be her unfiltered self with and she didn’t have to apologize for it. Even when at the worst moments of her mood swings.

 

Tasha sighed and started wobbling towards the restroom. She hadn’t exactly been honest with Reade. It was true, she really needed to empty her bladder but she was also hit by another contraction. She got them every once in a while and they were just false labor so there was nothing to worry about which was something Reade didn’t understand. They weren’t too painful but they did cause some discomfort and she lightly massaged her belly waiting for it to go away. She felt like walking helped a little.

 

After using the bathroom she stopped to look at herself on the mirror. She looked exhausted. The dark circles under her eyes along with the changes pregnancy had caused in her body made her look like a stranger. Every time she looked in a mirror she couldn’t help but stare at herself in awe: this was a sight she never thought she would see but once again life had showed her that at the end of the day she could never predict how her life would work itself out.

 

“At least this time it’s not another terrible tragedy… I hope” she said to her mirror self and stroked her stomach. She had never felt so conflicted in her life, not even when she realized she has feelings for her best friend. She loved the little life inside her more than anything else and she knew she would do anything to keep her baby safe. At the same time she was still battling her fears and, to be honest, herself. There was a part of her that told her this was wrong and she wasn’t supposed to have kids. That was the part of her she had let dominate her for her whole life so it was hard to let it go and if she was completely honest she wasn’t sure she wanted to. She was afraid this all would change her too much and she couldn’t be herself, an FBI agent, and be a mother. The other part of her told her that she was being stupid and that everything would work out in the end and she really wanted to believe it was true.

 

She took a deep breath and left the bathroom to get back to the others. When she got back to the lab, she found Patterson alone, concentrated on her computers once again.

 

“Where are the others?” Tasha asked.

 

“On their way to save the day” Patterson replied glancing at Tasha. “You can still catch them in the locker room if you go now” she added when she saw Tasha’s face drop a little.

 

Tasha nodded and turned around and hurried to the locker room. She nearly bumped into Reade at the doorway.

 

“There you are” he said and smiled.

 

“Off to save the day again?” she asked playfully and smiled back at him.

 

“Yeah, apparently there’s a bio weapon that is about to be released in Times Square. They always seem to find a way to make me leave your side. I’m so sorry I have to go” he said sounding sad and apologetic.

 

“Hey, you never have to apologize me for doing your job. I know what this job takes, remember?” she said and leaned her head against his shoulder hugging him tightly. “Just be safe out there, okay?”

 

“I promise. Call me if anything happens.”

 

Tasha hesitated for a second too long before answering:

 

“Sure.”

 

It didn’t go unnoticed. Reade pulled away and put his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eye.

 

“Seriously, I wanna know if anything happens. I know you’ve been having contractions and they kept you awake the whole night and I’m afraid you shrug them off too easily. So if anything changes, I need you to call me because I don’t want you to go through this alone. I wanna be there by your side.”

 

“Okay, I promise” she answered. Reade smiled at her a little and kissed her shortly. Then he was gone. Tasha stayed there for a while even after he was gone. She stood there, eyes closed, still feeling his scent on her skin and his kiss on her lips. Finally she opened her eyes again and reluctantly returned to the lab.

 

On the way there she felt another contraction and her belly went hard once again. She leaned to a wall and closed her eyes. The contraction wasn’t too painful but it lasted slightly longer than the earlier ones.

 

“This is not good…” she muttered as the contraction passed.

 

Patterson didn’t even notice her come in the lab. She was giving the team instructions through the comms and Tasha didn’t want to bother her. Instead she sat down behind Patterson’s desk and took out her phone. She had downloaded a few games to help her through the lonely days and now she opened Doodle Jump, determined to break her record. Before she could succeed, she had to put her phone down when she felt another contraction. She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing, inhaling slowly and then slowly blowing the air out of her lungs again. When the contraction passed she opened her eyes and found Patterson looking at her.

 

“Are you okay?” she asked with the same worried tone as Reade earlier.

 

“Mmh. Just a small contraction” she answered trying to sound convincing.

 

“Reade told me to let him know if something happens. He’s afraid you might not admit you’re in labor before the head comes out. And don’t look at me like that, I didn’t say that, he did” she said studying Tasha.

 

“Of course he did… I’m fine, seriously. No need to distract him for nothing.”

 

“Fine, but know that I’ll be watching you” Patterson said. Then someone said something through the comms and she turned back to the computer and started typing furiously and gave them the information they needed. She had pulled up live camera footage from Times Square and Tasha spotted the team in the corner of one of the screens. Nobody was evacuating the area so she assumed they had decided it would be safer to do this as quietly as possible so that the people behind this wouldn’t release the bio weapon early. She saw them disappear from the screen and soon appear on another screen and split up to cover more ground. Watching them made her miss her job. She wanted to be out there and she couldn’t wait to get back to work.

 

She looked down at her stomach and thought “That’s not gonna happen any time soon though…”

 

She had to turn around to stop herself from staring at the screens because it stressed her out. She knew all too well how much there was at stake and the last thing she needed now was another thing to stress over.

 

Her legs were getting numb and she felt slight pressure around her pelvis so she got up and walked over to Patterson, just to do something.

 

“How are they doing? Have they found anything yet?” she asked after making sure Patterson wasn’t busy at the moment.

 

“Jane caught someone and they are trying to get information out of him but he isn’t talking. Weller’s with her, Reade is chasing a lead” she answered. “How are you feeling?”

 

“I’m good” Tasha answered. It was like her uterus heard what she said and wanted to let her know she wasn’t because at that moment yet another contraction hit her and she leaned down on the table in front of her and pressed her hand on her stomach. When it finally passed she found the blonde’s blue eyes fixed on her.

 

“Tasha that was a minute long contraction just five minutes and eleven seconds after the earlier one. You’re in labor. I’m letting Reade know.”

 

“No please, there’s no need to distract him! They need him there and you know it. I’ll be fine until they get back” she pleaded.

 

“I know you’ve been getting frequent contractions for the whole morning. I’ve been watching you, I have eyes everywhere in the building. You’re at the end of early labor and Reade deserves to know.” Then she turned to her computers and said through the comms:

 

“Reade? Are you there?”

 

Silence.

 

“Reade?” she called again.

 

“We lost contact. What is it, Patterson?” Weller’s voice answered.

“Tasha’s in labor. The end of early labor.”

 

“Shit… I’ll go find him” they heard him say.

 

“Why did you do that? First of all I’m fine and even if I was in labor nothing would happen in a long time so he wouldn’t miss anything. Secondly and most importantly, right now they need him there more than I need him here. And now Weller went to find him which means there is one less agent focusing on the job at hand!”

 

Tasha was mad. The last thing she wanted was to be a distraction to the team and she was mad at Patterson for taking that choice out of her hands. But that wasn’t all. She had spent the whole day trying to convince herself the contractions she was getting were only Braxton Hicks contractions, false labor, and she had been avoiding the truth which Patterson had now forced her to face: she was in labor. She wasn’t ready for this. Even after all the preparing and all the coaching and all the time she had had to go everything over in her head, she felt unprepared. Now there was very little she could do when her body was preparing to deliver a new life into the world. She felt shaky and a tear ran down her face.

 

“Hey, hey, hey Tasha, look at me. I know you must be nervous, knowing you probably terrified considering your reaction, but you’re gonna be okay. Weller will find Reade and he’ll be here soon. And very soon you’ll get to meet your baby! Just think about that, okay? You’ll be okay” Patterson said and got up to hug her tightly.

 

“I’m not ready” she said quietly. She felt paralyzed.

 

“Tasha you are gonna be an amazing mother, I know it. And I know Reade is gonna be a great father. Any child would be lucky to have you two as their parents” Patterson said, trying to calm her down. She pulled her a chair and said:

 

“Now, sit down and get some rest: you might not get another chance any time soon and you need your strength.”

 

Tasha couldn’t get a word out of her mouth so she just nodded. She sat down and Patterson tossed her a bottle of water which was appreciated. She emptied the bottle quickly and as soon as she was finished she felt a contraction harden her tummy again.

 

That’s when they heard Weller’s voice through the comms:

 

“Reade? Reade?! We need a medic here!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter left of the story! The last two chapters were the hardest to write and I had to do a lot of research to make them somewhat realistic. I hope you'll enjoy them! :)


	7. New Beginning

“Ed?! ED?!!” Tasha yelled through her contraction. A strong feeling of terror took over her and in her eyes she saw Reade, lying on the ground, covered in blood. When Weller spoke it sounded distant and it felt like his voice was coming from another world:

 

“His breathing is stable and I don’t see any serious visible trauma, only a small wound on his forehead. They must have knocked him unconscious.”  

 

The relief she felt was so overwhelming tears ran down her face and for a moment she forgot she was in labor. Then she heard a weak grunt on the other end of the comms and Weller said:

 

“Hey, take it easy! You were knocked out. The medic is on her way.”

 

“Tasha…” hearing his voice made her cry even harder and she found herself unable to speak.

 

Weller seemed to hesitate for a moment before deciding to tell him the truth:

 

“There’s something you should know… Tasha’s in labor. She’s fine and she’s still at the office with Patterson.”

 

“What? I need to get there right now!” his voice was determined and all the weakness that was there a moment ago was gone.

 

“Take it easy, she’s fine and she can wait a little longer. First we need to make sure you’re okay” Weller said firmly.

 

“I’m fine! I need to be there with her!” Reade insisted. At this point Tasha had regained her ability to speak and she rushed to calm him down:

 

“Ed, please listen to him. I’m alright. Let the medic clear you. I don’t wanna have to worry about you too.” Her voice was cracking.

 

“Tasha, babe, how are you feeling? I’m sorry I’m not there with you.”

 

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it. Just promise me you’ll take care of yourself now.”

 

“Okay, I promise. But I’ll be there as soon as I can!”

 

They heard the medic arrive. Through her contraction Tasha heard her say:

 

“He has a concussion but other than that he seems fine but we need to x-ray him to make sure his skull isn’t fractured. We need to take him to the hospital.”

 

“But my girlfriend is in labor! I don’t have time for-“ Reade was interrupted by Weller who calmly and reasonably suggested:

 

“Just go to the hospital. I’ll make sure Tasha gets there safely and you can meet her there as soon as you get an all-clear. You okay with that?”

 

Tasha assumed Reade nodded since there was no answer but he didn’t protest either.

 

“Patterson, are you there?” Weller called.

 

“I’m already on it” she said knowing what he was about to say. She picked up her phone and chose a number on her speed dial. “This is Special Agent Patterson. I need a driver to take Special Agent Zapata to the hospital. Immediately.”

 

She put her phone down and turned to Tasha.

 

“Are you ready to go?”

 

“An FBI escort? No way, I’d rather drive myself” Tasha said, annoyed.

 

“I’m not letting you do that. I would drive you there myself but they still need me running the comms until they have found the terrorists and stopped the attack. Reade is on his way there. It’s time to swallow your pride because the only thing that matters now is you and your baby’s well-being” Patterson said firmly and Tasha couldn’t argue her.

 

She grabbed her phone and got up to leave. Before she could leave Patterson wrapped her arms around her and squeezed her gently and whispered:

 

“Good luck!”

 

Tasha smiled a little and said:

 

“Thank you! Thank you for everything!”

 

“Thank me by introducing me to a tiny new human soon!”

 

Tasha laughed and then headed to the garage where there was a car waiting to take her to the hospital.

 

***

 

Reade was impatiently pacing around in the small room where the nurse had told him to wait for the results of his x-ray. He had been waiting alone for twenty minutes and he was quickly growing out of patience. He felt fine and the only one he was worried about was Tasha. She was alone, going through all kinds of pain and these people didn’t let him be there. He couldn’t understand why. It wasn’t like he was going to leave the hospital any time soon so they could reach him any time.

 

He was nervous for so many reasons. He hoped Weller would come by with their hospital bag soon. They - or more accurately Reade - had packed a bag of stuff to take to the hospital when the time came and it was always in his car but of course now that the time had come they didn’t have it with them. He needed it because it was a crucial part of his plan.

 

Finally the door opened and a doctor walked in.

 

“Well?” Reade asked, not trying to hide his annoyance.

 

“You’re all clear, Mr. Reade. You were lucky you got away with no serious injuries. Normlly I would tell you to stay here in observation for a few hours but considering your situation we can make an exception. How are the stiches?”

 

“Awesome. Now if you excuse me, my girlfriend is giving birth and I need to get to her.”

 

“Maternity ward, room 24” the doctor said.

 

Reade stopped and looked at the doctor. Then he nodded and said:

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Good luck” she said and smiled.

 

Reade ran through the hospital corridors, narrowly avoiding several collisions with the hospital staff and patients. He followed the signs towards the maternity ward and his heart was pounding rapidly, not because he was running but because he was anxious to get to Tasha.

 

Finally he stormed through the glass doors that said “Maternity Ward”. A nurse sitting behind a desk looked at him as he ran through the small lobby area and said:

 

“Good afternoon, sir…. Sir?! Wait, you can’t just go in there…”

 

Reade didn’t listen. He didn’t care about anything that was going on around him. All he knew was that Tasha needed him. He kept an eye on the room numbers as he ran along the corridor: 19… 20… 21… 22… 23… Finally he stopped behind the door that lead to the room 24. He knocked on the door and slowly opened it.

 

“Tasha?” he called carefully.

 

“Ed?”

 

He opened the door all the way and saw her standing in front of the window, wearing a hospital gown. She looked tired but her face lit up when she saw him. He took a few more steps to get to her and wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a warm hug. She buried her face into his chest and suddenly everything was better.

 

“I’m sorry it took me so long to get to you” Reade said his face buried into her hair.

 

“You’re here now, that’s all that matters” Tasha said quietly.

 

Reade looked up and saw the nurse who had tried to stop him in the lobby. She was standing in the doorway. She smiled and nodded a little and left, closing the door behind her again.

 

Then Tasha pulled away and leaned on a chair in front of her. The look on her face made it clear that she was in pain. She was panting and her eyes were closed. She grunted and her mouth opened to a silent scream. Seeing her in pain made him feel terrible and he didn’t know what to do to make her feel better. He stroked her hair and said:

 

“You’re doing great, Tash. Is there something I can do to help? Would you like to me to massage your back?” He had been preparing for this for a while and he head read that a back massage might help some women. Tasha nodded a little. He gently placed his hands on her lower back and started massaging with circular motions. By the time the contraction was over she was shaking and it seemed like her legs couldn’t support her much longer.

 

“Do you wanna lay down?” Reade asked carefully.

 

Tasha shook her head and gulped down a glass of water.

 

“No, the pressure is uncomfortable.”

 

“So… where are we at?”

 

He hated having to ask that question. It just showed how much he had missed: he didn’t even know what part of the labor she was at.

 

“I’m in transition. They measured me right before you came and I was at 9 centimeters. One more to go. My waters should break any moment now.”

 

She said it matter-of-factly, like she was talking about a case or about someone else, another woman giving birth. That truly revealed how anxious she was.

 

“Ohh… So it’s almost time” he said, not knowing what else to say. “How are you feeling?”

 

“I’m tired, Ed. I’m not sure if I can take this.” Her voice cracked as a tear escaped her eye and she wiped it away. She had chosen not to take epidural and Reade wasn’t exactly sure why but he respected her decision. Now it was too late to take it and they both knew it so there was nothing anyone could do about the pain.

 

“Hey, you’re strong. You’re the strongest person I know and I know you can do this.” He placed his hands on both sides of her belly. “Soon we’ll get to meet her.”

 

“Her? You don’t know if it’s a girl or a boy” she said and raised her brows.

 

“I have a feeling…” Reade said and grinned.

 

“Soon we’ll see. Remember our bet!” she said and laughed a little.

 

Then her face changed quickly and she slid on the floor on her knees and leaned her upper body to the hospital bed. Reade started massaging her back again and talking softly, saying things like “You’re doing great” “I’m here for you”.

 

Then the door opened and their familiar midwife and a nurse stepped in.

 

“Hello, Edgar, I’m glad to see they finally cleared you and you were able to make it in time” said and smiled. “How are we doing here?”

 

The contraction was finally passing and Tasha relaxed again. Suddenly a pool of liquid spread around the floor.

 

“It seems like our timing was perfect” the midwife said and smiled widely.

 

“Wait, did my waters just break?” Tasha’s eyes were wide and she observed the pool she was kneeling in. “I’m sorry…”

 

“No need to apologize! We’ll take care of that later. Do you think you can get on the bed so that we can measure you?”

 

Tasha nodded and with Reade’s support she got up and laid herself on the bed. Reade took her hand in his as the midwife measured her.

 

“You’re nearly there! Just a little while longer. You’re doing good job” she said encouragingly.

 

Then another contraction hit her. Reade stroked her hair and kept repeating words of encouragement. She was squeezing his hand so hard he had lost all the feeling but he didn’t complain. He could take it if it helped her.

 

“She’s incredibly tough” the midwife said suddenly.

 

Reade smiled a little.

 

“She’s the strongest person I know.”

 

Tasha was clearly holding in a scream. Instead of letting it out she wheezed and grunted while trying to breathe normally.

 

“Try not to push yet, dear. We have to be patient and wait until you are fully dilated.”

 

“I’m… trying…” she managed to groan.

 

When the contraction was over she remained lying with her eyes closed.

 

“Ed…” she whispered.

 

“What is it, honey?” Reade leaned closer to hear her.

 

“I… I don’t think I can do this. I can’t take this anymore. It hurts, Ed” she cried quietly.

 

“Yes, you can. I believe in you. You are doing amazing job and soon, very soon we’ll get to meet our little one. Just a little longer. You can do it.” He placed a kiss on her sweaty forehead. “I love you.”

 

She formed the answer with her mouth but no words came out. They were silenced by a new contraction and her nails sank into his skin. The mid wife said something to the nurse who then left the room.

 

About 30 minutes (and many, many contractions) later the midwife was measuring her again when her face brightened up. At the same time the nurse walked in accompanied by another nurse.

 

“Okay, dear, it is time. You’re fully dilated. The urge to push will probably get stronger with each contraction and you can start pushing if you feel like it.”

 

Tasha nodded and turned to Reade with wide eyes. He massaged the back of her hand and said:

 

“You’re almost there. You’re doing incredible job, my love.”

 

“Almost there…” she repeated and sighed. She closed her eyed and leaned on her pillow, taking advantage of the contraction-free moment.

 

***

 

She wanted to scream but she couldn’t. The pain she felt was unlike any pain she had ever felt before. She felt her uterus work on moving the baby further and she used all her strength to help her baby descent. She heard Reade’s voice in her ears and she concentrated on him. His touch, how he stroked her hair and encouraged her to keep going. She tried to push everything else out of her mind.

 

When the contraction was over she had to focus on her breathing, inhaling and exhaling deeply. She opened her eyes and saw Reade smiling down at her. She tried to smile back but wasn’t sure she actually managed to do it.

 

She had been pushing for an hour and a half and she was getting tired. To be honest, she had never been so exhausted in her entire life. But she couldn’t quit now. They were so close. She heard the midwife say the head would emerge soon, just a few more pushes. She felt the pressure which told her the midwife was right and as the next contraction hit her she pushed harder than ever before.

 

“The head is out! Wait a moment, dear, we need to wipe the mouth and nose. There you go, everything seems fine so far. Now let’s rotate the little one… there. Now, with the next contraction, give it all you’ve got! Your baby is nearly out!”

 

She looked at Reade again and saw tears in his eyes. He was looking at the baby’s head and she wished she could see it too. Then he looked at her and smiled widely and kissed her hand he was holding.

 

“I can see it! I can see our baby’s head! You’re doing fantastic job, just a few more pushes! You can do it!”

 

His words gave her strength and with the next contraction she used all the strength and energy she had left and pushed. Her sight went black but she didn’t stop. Then suddenly the pressure eased and she felt someone place a towel on her stomach.

 

“Congratulations, you have a daughter!”

 

Then a sharp scream filled the air as the midwife placed her tiny newborn on her stomach and gently dried and cleaned her with a towel.

 

Tasha looked at her screaming daughter for the first time and suddenly her whole world was there. The little human she had been carrying around for nine months was now here. She reached out and felt her soft cheek and suddenly she realized she was crying. The mix of feelings she felt was more overwhelming than anything she had ever felt. She was relieved it was over, confused, excited and euphoric but the strongest feeling of all was love. When she looked at her daughter she felt love, purer and stronger than ever before.

 

She felt Reade’s hand on the back of her head and he reached out to touch their baby. He was crying too. The midwife asked if he wanted to cut the umbilical cord and he nodded his head.  Everything was perfect in that moment when the midwife declared that the baby was fine and she was full-term. She took her off Tasha’s bare stomach to wrap her into a towel to keep her warm. Then she handed her to Tasha who eagerly took her into her arms. Reade leaned closer to pull them into a hug.

 

“Thank you” he managed to whisper into her ear.

 

Tasha looked at him and he pressed his lips against hers. This moment was perfect. He was perfect. Their baby was perfect. She held her against her chest and they laughed as the baby’s little mouth was desperately searching for her breast.

 

“She’s clearly your daughter” Tasha laughed as the baby greedily locked her mouth on her breast. Nursing felt so natural and satisfying.

 

Reade laughed. He was speechless.

 

“Little Alyssa…” Tasha whispered and leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead.

 

***

 

Tasha watched tiredly as the nurse weighed, measured and washed her baby. When they had placed Alyssa on her stomach all the exhaustion had completely disappeared but now it was back with all its might. But no matter how tired she was she couldn’t even imagine going to sleep now. She had a terrible, longing sensation now that she was separated from her daughter. She desperately wanted to hold her again. Finally after dressing her, the nurse handed her to Reade. Tasha watched as he gently supported her head and took the tiny bundle into his arms. Her eyes were open and she wasn’t screaming anymore, like she was a moment ago. Slowly Reade walked towards Tasha’s bed, enjoying every second, placing kisses all over her and softly talking to her. The sight was so moving Tasha couldn’t hold back a tear but she didn’t really care. She was happy, happier than ever before.

 

She couldn’t help but think about the night when she was conceived and how dark the future had seemed then. They had come so far…

 

Finally Reade handed the baby to her and she was more than eager to hold her again. She was something so special… She was her little miracle. And she was perfect. She was a perfect mix of both of them. Her skin was dark, not as dark as Reade’s but darker than Tasha’s. And Patterson had been right: she had Tasha’s nose. Her eyes were dark like both their eyes. They had dressed her into a yellow bodysuit that said… Wait.

 

Tasha had to read the black font on the bodysuit four times and she was still sure she had misread it. She looked up at Reade who smiled at her and suddenly he seemed nervous. Then she looked back at the bodysuit and read it once again:

 

“WILL YOU MARRY MY DADDY?”

 

She looked around the room and realized everybody was looking at her, smiling. Then she looked at Reade again. Now she saw that he was holding a simple but beautiful diamond ring. She wanted to scream but she couldn’t get a word out of her mouth.

 

“Are you serious?” she was finally able to ask in disbelief.

 

“I am serious. I love you more than my own life and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you if you-“

 

“Yes” she interrupted him.

 

“Huh?” he blinked his eyes.

 

“Yes, I will marry you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we've reached the end of my second story. I hope reading it was as much fun as writing it. I don't know yet if I'm going to continue this story or not but in case I don't, I hope the end leaves everybody satisfied. Thank you all for the kind comments and kudos you've left, your feedback means a lot to me!


End file.
